Afton knows about Ree being the one that told Carly about that shit. He threatened her in the park. Abbey saved her, thank god.

You know what that means? I do. I had to turn her, I had to. We went to that cabin of ours in the woods for the weekend.

I turned into a wolf and bit her in the arm. I...it was one of the strangest...scariest things I ever done. For a moment, I thought I was going to rip her arm off. I felt...different.  Wrong. Primal. I was a hunter, she was my prey, and I had to devour her. I didn't - I stopped myself.

Then I ran and washed the blood out of my mouth...I can still kind of taste it. Oh god no.

She was freaking out, but she seems okay, she seems okay. She isn't too hurt. But she's been burning up and all fevered and stuff.

And hormonal as fuck. Can you believe she threw my underwear into the fireplace just 'cause I called her my 'shorty'?

I hope she feels better. I hope she stops yelling at me and freaking out over nothing. I don't think I can take it much longer.

 Fuck me sideways.

Fought with Holly. Dunno where she is. Broke up ( we weren't even together) with her.

I didn't want to DO it like that. I still need to tell her stuff about like how she's in trouble, and offer to change and protect her. But she just grabbed onto the topic of Ree, and kept calling her names, and I just got frustrated. And then she threatened to leave - like she ALWAYS does - and I freak out.

Told her there's no way we'd work since she cant even fucking talk to me, and since our parents are still dating. That it's done.

So it's done. It'll get better from here, right? I did the right thing.

So...why do I feel so shitty?

PS - Morning after. Just saw my phone. Loads of texts from Ree - I hope she's alright. She's not picking up my calls. I've got to go look for her now, God, she can't be hurt, she cant...

I invited a vampire to our house party a month ago.

That guy Alexander I met at the park. When I was trying so hard to beat Holly in our little contest thing. He's a vampire.

I wonder if he was always a vampire, 'cause he didn't seem all that weird back then, when I was human. Just really stuffy and formal.

Anyway, me and Ree snuck out to the pizza parlor at night, because her parents were home so we didn't have much else to do, and turns out that kid Nic works there. He's alright. He's going to talk to Carly. At least SOMEONE in that relationship has some common sense in them.

And then, the vampire guy came in with this other vampire chick. I'm getting good at smelling them, picking them out.

Avery's back to being afraid. That mojo thing wore off, which I'm kind of relieved about. We're going to talk about turning her tonight, I think. I want to. She was right, there are a lot of them.

I didn't even have the heart to tell her about that freaky vampire I saw in the woods, the one spouting shit about how vampires need to kill to survive, and how not all vampires wanted to be monsters.

Ree would have freaked out. She would have started shivering in my arms again - she's a big baby when she hasn't been fucked with. But she's my big baby.  

 So. Fucking. Frustrated. I'm pissed.

After all that shit. After all I tried to do for her, after warning her about that stupid vampire that's out after her, this is how I'm repayed, yeah?

Ree was telling Carly about that agent of hers. Carly didn't take it well, so Ree went to comfort her or something. I was worried, so I dropped by to make sure they're alright. Good thing I did too, the door was open and I stumbled in accidentally. I sent a text so I wasn't being a creeper.

I scared them, so okay, yeah. I get the being attacked by stuffed animals thing. I couldn't be pissed. There was a knock on the door, and that guy Nic was there, I guess he's the blonde's boyfriend now. So I go over to Avery to talk to her, to ask if everything's alright and...

And then the screaming starts. Carly is SO loud. Avery gets pissed off, starts screaming at Carly for screaming at me, and...I'm just in the middle. Ree left, pissed. Carly was upset. So...I thought I'd man up, yeah?

I stop before leaving, turn to Carly and her boy toy, and tell her to not be angry at Ree, 'cause all she wants is for Carly to be safe. Then I tell Carly that we should talk. We should work this out, so Ree wouldn't be so caught in the middle. We should make peace.

She threatened to call her dad and get his elephant gun on me. And before she threatened to call the cops.

Then I had it. I never even did anything to her. If she wants to hate me so much? Well, fine. I don't need her to like me, and I'm not going to beg for acceptance. If she's that obsessed with hating me, she can have her fun with it. I tried, but I aint going to sacrifice my pride for someone like that.

It doesn't even make sense. WHY would I lie about it and make Afton out to be a bad guy? What could possibly benefit me? I mean, I know we lied, but only because telling her the truth would be signing her up for a death. If I wanted to hurt Carly, if I was hateful and mean like that, why would I attack her agent? If I wanted to make her life a living hell, I'd attack her boyfriend. I'd make shit up about him, make her doubt him.

But I don't want to hurt her. And right now? I don't much want to help her either.

 So...wow. She loves me. She's been...fucked with. Some vampire, she said, messed with her. She can't feel scared anymore. We spent the night, and...yeah.

But it wasn't all good. There's vampire police, I guess? They kill anyone who tells humans about them, and then the humans too. Which means Holly and Ree...they're in danger. I can't let nothing happen to them. I'm the reason they know in the first place - I can't let them die.

I...I'll change them. Into werewolves too. I'm allowed to know, they can't hide from my nose. I'll do it if I have to. Even if they don't want to be turned, I'll change their minds and do whatever I have to. 'Cause...'cause if it's furry or death...

I have serious issues. I got some serious stuff to think about. But...I cant help but be kind of happy after today, you know?

 Vampires. That's what the girls say. They're vampires. Holy crap, how am I supposed to deal with that? How are we supposed to fight them off, if vampires want to suck their blood and...

Shit. Shit. Ree broke up with me again, because of a...misunderstanding. I TOLD her what happened, I did! I wasn't being a jerk!

Her friend Carly or whatever was freaking out at me. Called me a player (don't hate the player, hate the game) and a jerk and that I was playing with the two girls. And it's NOT true. I don't WANT to do that. I don't want to fuck around with them, I care for them TOO much. She said I was just a horndog looking for some new ass basically. I wanted to throw my pancakes in her judgmental face.

I even tried to protect her, when I saw one of them VAMPIRES (wow). And...then she yelled at me for trying to get up on her and I got so mad I left. Whatever. If she wants to have her blood sucked, she can.

...I'll tell Ree about it. She'll take care of her friend, even though I can't.

 It's not fun anymore. I don't want to be in the middle of this shit anymore. I don't want to hurt either of them, and I don't know what I'm supposed to do to get out of it.

So...nothing's changed. It's just kind of sad. Because they liked each other before. And now? I...don't think Holly likes Ree at all. And I just feel so damn guilty all the time.

This has to end soon, right? 

Avery, she's...she's hurting. We tried - she broke up (...we weren't even really technically dating, but whatever) with me. But then she called me back the next day and we're as...good as it can be like this, I guess? She knows I care for her so much. She knows I care for Holly too. She knows I dont want to hurt anyone, ever...Especially not them.

 Hot damn. I'm screwed.

I'm a wolf.

I'm...kind of the luckiest guy ever, or the unluckiest. I was fooling around with this girl, yeah? Avery. We didn't want nothing serious. Just kissing is nice, you know? And...Holly's been acting real weird. Avery says it's because she likes me, but that couldn't be it. So then Holly admits to liking me, and...I don't know. It's just weird. Kind of cool, but weird.

And then, shit happened. We were in the woods, all of us awkwardly, because Ree wanted us to find a place to host the party we're planning with us and Trevor (this kid, he's whatever) and then...I smelled something. And then, this...thing, this woman jumped out of a tree and started stalking us.

The girls were afraid. I...I did it then. I turned. Into a wolf. A werewolf. I'm a werewolf. Holly ran away, Avery freaked out, and the mystery woman...she backed away.

I take Avery to this place to get out of the rain. And we...Geez. I like her. I do now. It's no longer just funsies.

But what about Holly? I...

 Holy...shit.

I woke up naked in the middle of the woods. I was having that wolf dream, and then...

But it was the full moon. Could it...could it be not a dream? What if there was something wrong with that wolf? What if there's something wrong with me?

I ran into Holly making out with the douchebag ex of hers. I told her what I was...thinking. She was afraid.

But she shouldn't be. Even if I am a...I'm still a good guy. I wouldn't hurt her, ever.

[[This isn't an actual journal entry. More like, an abstract collection of his thoughts, were they ever penned. Completely OOC knowledge.]] 

Wolf. Wolf. Woods. Moon. Wind. Wolf. Water.

I had that dream again last night. I dreamt I was a wolf, running through the forest at midnight. I think it was just a reaction to the attack that happened a couple of days back...my arm is practically all healed up, but I'm keeping the bandage on because Holly and mom's always extra nice to me when they see it.

Still. I don't know why. I've had that dream for the last three days. I'm starting to wonder if it had like, rabies or something. Maybe I should have mom check me over. Maybe I'm just going insane?